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Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Numbers...

I have had a love hate relationship with numbers for many years (almost 22). My life is ruled by them if I stop to think about it. Although, much of my life has been spent either faking them or just plain ignoring them. It is hard not to not feel like a failure when you wake up in the morning to start your day and you are greeted with a crappy number. In fact, every morning used to be that way for me. It got so bad that I just stopped caring. The truth is in the numbers and I did not like what they were saying. My numbers? My blood sugar.

I'd like to think that a switch finally went off in my brain where I decided to stop obsessing over them. Where I stopped letting them define me. Where I don't tie them to me as a person and treat them as I would any other measure...one of many considerations in evaluating the overall portfolio.

My T1 Diabetes has been one of my "worry about it later" things because like novel writing, it is really hard. I'm not naturally good at it. It takes work. It takes commitment. It should be more important than my job. I don't know that I will ever treat it that way, because that isn't me. But I do think I can find a way to integrate it with how I am. It can make me better. The real truth is...I just have to keep trying and never give up.

PS - Isn't my glucose meter cute? You didn't think I would write an entry with out some flitty/flighty pink cuteness did you?

1 comment:

sisu twenty-twenty said...

think pink. never give up. tenacity. it works bitches!