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Sunday, May 5, 2013

On my mind...

There are a few reasons why I decided to push myself this of the biggest ones is in honor of my camper Becca.  Usually when cancer takes someone I care about...I vow to work even harder at work.  I sing along to The Offspring - Gone Away...cry...and then I get back to work.  This past reaction was very different.  I was angry…and for the first time...working hard was not going to cut it any longer.  It really did set the theme of 2013 for me.  

My words on December 17th...
...the truth is...I have no words...and working harder at work is not going to make me feel better or less angry. Instead...I am going to work hard at laughing more, being silly, having fun, goofing off, stop worrying and not being afraid to open up my heart. That is what Becca showed me...that is what all of Parcells showed me...that is how I will chose to live each and every day from here on out.

While I was doing my walk/run yesterday, I started thinking about Becca…I was thinking about all of my campers who are cheering me along from out and about in the universe.  I imagine Joel, Chass, and Becca gathered together with a checklist ticking through the items nodding with pride on some and rolling their eyes at others.  I have more to work on needless to say…but I feel really fortunate to have made such lasting connections…not only with my campers but their families as well.  This week I was messaging with Chass’s Mom...she had posted on Facebook about how I must have been keeping Hallmark and the Post Office in business after going through some boxes of Chass’s things.  I honestly had forgotten how many cards I must have sent.  When I got home from work that day, my sister had left me a present…a scarf filled with butterflies.  Chass was all about the butterflies…these connections are everlasting.  It made me remember my words about Becca.

My Words on Becca 
The smile, the laugh, the was always within and around her.  From the moment I met her when she was six...her smile and cheer always made me joyful.  We would always find each camp and on family weekends...and we would always greet each other with some sort of goofy smile and some eye rolls.  I love that Becca could make me act silly.  There was a special moment out on Molden Porch during Spring Family Weekend last year when all of us were saying goodbye.  We were talking about seeing each other at Reunion Weekend in June, Camp in August...and then Becca said...I'll just see you everywhere.  I am lucky...because I know she does.

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