Lots of different things have been on my mind lately...good things...some things I haven't ever really allowed myself to think about before. I would have ordinarily been in countdown mode for today...but it wasn't until I changed the date on my calendar when the date registered. It is September 30th. It is my Diaversary. Twenty six years ago today...we got the call...early in the morning just before I had to leave for school. My Mom's suspicion had been absolutely correct...I had Juvenile Diabetes (now called Type 1 Diabetes). I remember after we left the doctor's office in the late afternoon before she suggested we stop at McDonald's for an early dinner. She let me have a Big Mac, french fries, and a milk shake. She knew. It was one last mindless meal...I enjoyed it. I pretty sure I knew it too.
When I was a little kid, I worried all the time...about everything. The biggest worry was having to go to the hospital. The idea of getting shots would make me break out into a cold sweat too. Thinking about both would keep me up at night. The funny thing is, when we got the call...I was completely calm. I was ready. There were no tears. I didn't ever feel sorry. I didn't ever wonder why it happened. My mom often talks about this instant transformation she saw in me...all I remember is feeling completely okay. I think all those nights I lost sleep were in preparation. All of the fear and worry faded away because I no longer had anything looming over me. I had a new thing to manage. I was always responsible and this was just one more thing that I would have to take care of. It was a lifelong task to take on. I knew I could handle it.
So here I am...starting my 26th year of living with Type 1 Diabetes...readying myself to get 26 miles in less than 2 weeks. I had not made the 26 connection before. It makes my obsession over getting these 26 miles mean even more...each mile is each year that I have kept moving forward...always...never looking back.