Does Everyone Have a Ted?

In the span of time before seeing Ted last night, I could not help but think about the power of a stuffed animal and maybe a blankie too.  My favorite stuffed animal was a Giraffe that I named Woo Woo.  I had a few of them...one was quickly snatched up off of the boardwalk in Wildwood after I dropped him from my stroller.  One I got sick on.  I think I had three of them...maybe four.  I remember my Grandpa always talking about how after I lost the one in Wildwood a few months later we were strolling though Woodies and I saw Woo Woo.  A whole display of them...and I called out..."Woo Woo" with a longing of finding a long lost friend.  Of course they had to get him for me.  And then...not too long after...I remember not needing him.  I had not really thought about why.

I'm guessing it was sometime just before August 1980...because on August 5th my baby sister arrived. On August 6th, we met for the first time. When you find your best friend...you don't need the security of thing that crosses your path to get you ready for the real thing.

Hello Summer...

So just like that...it is the end of June.  What the heck happened?  Summer is slip sliding along...and I must say...I am really enjoying the weekends.  The work weeks are really busy busy busy...but when I get to Friday...I put the blackberry away and truly enjoy each and every moment.  Sun.  Swim. Soccer watching.  What more do you need?  Oh yes, spending time with my boy Gym.  And then throw in a couple of really good shows (Foster the People and Keane) and a Camp Weekend...and that sums up all the fun I have had in June!!

Oh right...and remember how I was going to write 50,000 words this month too?  Yeah...that did not happen.  But...the writing bug is still there...and July starts soon...so maybe...I will get back to it.  Or maybe not.  No pressure.  If I feel the urge, I will go for it.  There are no rules when it comes to Camp NanoWrimo...and I miss writing with my buddies.  

Is it obvious what my fear is?  Why I haven't written much?  I am worried that all of the changes I have been making since September will fall by the wayside...I know it is silly...but I really worry about it.  There is much more work that I need to do in terms of getting healthier...and I feel a constant struggle between wanting to do more to be healthy and wanting to write.  I just don't think you can have it all...but maybe it is that you just can't have it all...at all times.

The Darn Red Ball...

It was one of those long days...yep...another one. I capped it off with some time with my boy Gym. It was a strength training day...so I was ready to de-stress by working my way through my sets. Some of them are even what I call the "Big Boy" side of the gym...the side where all the really intense guys workout. Not many girls are in that space...but I head over there now...with no qualms. That was not the case seven months ago. I am not intimidated...but that doesn't mean my clumsy nature will shy away. Yep...I had one of those embarrassing "joy" moments.

I should start by saying that when I was younger my Grandpa always talked about this sign that he saw when he was in his late teens. It said something along the lines of..."the moment you begin to think you have ripened is the moment you begin to spoil."  I think he was channeling this to me today.  I was starting out my first set...leg press, lunges with arm extensions out to the sides, and then crunches with weights on the red ball.  I should say that the red ball and I have our moments.  All of my gym accidents...which usually result with me doing some awkward slide and then landing on my right knee or the front part of my right leg...involve the lovely red ball.  Planking with toes on said red ball, feet on the bosu with plank out on the red ball, and now the simple crunch have resulted in my awkward ungraceful splat to the floor.  The splat is usually followed by an "Oh Crap" or a "Grr"...in case you were wondering.

So now, back to spoiling.  On my second set...I was working through my lunges and a guy was now using the leg press I had just finished using.  He was struggling...and the weight was the same as what I had been working with.  This made me feel so strong!!  As I did my last set of crunches...I was feeling pretty good.  Pushing through...thinking that I was pretty damn smooth.  And then...after my last one...the red ball went shooting out from under me.  I awkwardly slipped and fell to the front of my right leg...which is odd...because I was on my back on said red ball.  I have a talent for weirdness with that darn red ball...and there are always witnesses. 

So here are some theories on why I had a slip off the red ball today...

*  I was eavesdropping on the conversation happening behind me
*  I was thinking how great I was...all balanced on the ball...doing crunches with 10 pound weights...and looking pretty good while doing so
*  I was wondering what I was going to wear the next day...and then which shoes
*  I was distracted by the guy working out in front of me (really nice arms are hard not to notice)
*  My grandpa was reminding that I am not that boss...and that I need to keep my head in check
*  All of the above

An Epiphany...and Other Thoughts from the Gym...

It was a long day at the office and I headed out around 9pm...but instead of retreating home...I hit the gym. It was so what I needed. It was a strength training day and pushing through all of my sets really helped to get me centered and work hard in the physical sense. But, let's be honest...the mental stuff works its way in too. My plate is full and I was thinking of ways to simplify things. I was thinking about writing and my CampNanoWrimo Novel and what is it that I really enjoy. The thought of doing 50K words by the end of the month was making feel even more overwhelmed than the usual amount I walk around with everyday. It was weighing me down. And then it hit me...do you know what I realized? My favorite thing about doing NanoWrimo and CampNanoWrimo is blogging about my progress. As this churned through my brainspace it got me thinking even more...maybe I am a blogger and not a writer.

So, as my gym time wound down...I started thinking about how much my life has changed since late August. How the pieces of me have changed...the things I set as priorities, the activities I enjoy, and the space I take up in the universe. Even the physical appearance of my blog doesn't really capture who I am anymore and what I want to write about. It needs to be revamped to match the revamped me. I have changed and truth be told...I don't need to write novels anymore. Instead of writing stories, I am living them. And the best way to capture those kinds of stories is in a blog.

Running Low on Energy.... Word Count = 8,065

I was hoping to hit 10K words by the end of the weekend...but I am starting to get tired and I have to focus on soccer watching. I saw Real Maryland win their first match of the season (I think) at home earlier this afternoon. And now...I am watching the US Mens National Team play Canada. I'm fading fast...but am trying to send some energylegs to the boys. This game is not going anywhere at the moment.

I will tell you one thing that is going somewhere...my novel!! It is now a whopping 8K words...which is about 21 pages. My characters have names and have some adventures ahead. I'm really enjoying writing this one. I wrote about 3K words today...which is respectable. Given all the things I got done today...it is pretty good I think.

A Sunday List of "To Do's" that are "Done"

* Laundry
* Writing Outside (see picture...all the essentials) - 1K words
* Strength Training at the Gym
* Real Maryland Soccer Game in Rockville
* Grocery Shopping
* Writing Outside - 1K Words
* Watching USMNT Play Canada
* Writing at Kitchen Table - 1K Words

And now it is time to collapse...I'm really proud of the fact that I did not do any of the work that I brought hom with me. It makes for a busier work week...but I say bring it. I am going to head to bed soon and will be ready!! I'm going to dream of all of the words that will spill out from my fingertips over the next week.

Look Who Is Writing.... Word Count = 5,009

My first write-in at Panera was very, very good to me. 5K words in my brand new novel. Happy Happy, Me Me!! Since I need to fuel up with some dinner...I am cheating a bit and getting straight to my list. Here are some things that I learned today...in no particular order...although the first bullet point is the most mind blowing...so prepare yourself accordingly. And...following the list...please find my favorite line from today.

Things I learned today...

* According to Ben's textbook on writing...fiction must contain ideas...

* My main character is afraid of elevators.

* My main character does not get along with her sister or her parents.

* My main character uses the Metro to get to work.

* My main character lives in an area that resembles Rockville Town Center. Wait...maybe it is Rockville Town Center. Her apartment number is 417.

* My main character is named Louise. I don't know her last name yet, but that is okay.


Favorite line so far....

"Her mindset was infectious, can you catch desperation?"

Let's Get it Going.... Word Count = 0

And here we go...I am at Panera...about to get my novel on. Let's do this!! I have all I need. Endless Coffee. Notebook. Pen. Laptop. Cute Writing Bag. Cute Writing Totem that matches said writing bag. Ipod. Headphones. And the most important thing...NanoWrimo Buddies!! We have occupied the orange wall...and all is write the world. I have really missed this. So...here I go...commencing novel writing...and go!!!