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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Day Two - Getting the Hang of It

To say that we were exhausted before Grandma came home is kind of an understatement and yet...you just keep plugging along. Because we came home so late yesterday, we were not able to keep the rehab hospital schedule...it was a late night that extended into the wee hours of the morning. Getting into a regular routine is key...

Today was all about figuring out what we really need and what it is going to take to really take care of Grandma here at home. I imagine the next few days will continue in this vein. It is a huge undertaking and I would be lying if I didn't admit to being a bit nervous about how I am going to be come Monday when I have to go to work. I am definitely going to have to think about my work schedule...I may need to start heading into work later in the morning. This will be a first for me...but you have to do what you have to do. Right now, this is the most important thing.

This morning was a reality check for me...just to see how things really are in terms of waking up, taking pills (crushed in applesauce), and all the other morning rituals. The theme throughout this that you will recognize is that my Mom carries the heavy water in all of this. My sister and I do as best we can to support her. Many times I feel totally inept...actually...most of the time. I am trying to learn too and push through my fears. To face all of the things that make me most uncomfortable.

The Fear that I overcame today...

* The whole "changing" thing...or at least being around to assist in one.

The real driving force to working so hard is in the moments when Grandma smiles to you. When she can answer you with nod of yes or no. When she acknowledges her right hand. When you figure out what she wants and she gives you a laugh and a grin. When Grandma looks at my Mom. Those make for some of the best feelings in the world.

2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

*big hugs, Joy!* hopefully the routine will sort itself out soon. it's got to be so nerve wracking to have all that responsibility- & again, you're all just amazing for taking on the challenge! no doubt it's going to be incredibly difficult & draining, so try to remember to take care of yourselves, too (eat right, get some sleep & get a break every once in a while), so you're physically & mentally up to the task... hang in there!!

Joy Wizziwa said...

You are so right...and it is so necessary...even if it just time to take a nap. :) It has really helped the Type A Work Obsessed person within me to get some perspective and remember that work isn't everything too. That alone feels really good...