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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Dose of Reality…

My pretend pancreas...

So…the thing about Type 1 Diabetes is…it is not trivial.  I have spent almost 27 years trivializing it and I don’t want to pay a price for that.  I don’t keep it a secret.  I’m totally fine with people knowing I have it.  But the question is, do I accept that I have it?  Really accept it?  I wonder sometimes.  I am lucky.  I have an intuition.  I trust it.  I meander through my day knowing (based on how I feel) whether my blood sugar is high or low.  I check it in the morning and then go about my day…never checking it again.  I did a marathon without checking it once.  I always figure out a work around.  It always seems easier.  I can’t keep doing this.  It should not be easy.  It is not trivial.

I am really, really lucky…in my almost 27 year relationship with my non-working pancreas…I have had very little complications.  My eyes have had a few laser zaps to preserve my vision.  I see my Retinologist two times a year to keep tabs on things.  It is all about preservation…things never get better with your vision…but you can keep them from getting worse.  This has been the only complication…until I went on vacation.

It was an amazing vacation.  I think it was the first real vacation I have had since I started working the summer after my Junior Year of High School.  It was so good, I forgot that I got a blister just above my right ankle from an amazing pair of Sandals.  Two days later…it started to hurt…I looked down…it wasn’t pretty.  I went to the Doctor at the Resort the next morning.  I got a prescription for a topical medicine.  I never went in the ocean again.  I just had a bad feeling.  It didn’t get any better.  19 days pass.  I am worried.  I go to my podiatrist…he has to use a scalpel to stir the healing process.  I feel worse…then feel better.  I go back in a week…he has to use a scalpel to stir the healing process.  Are you sensing a pattern?  Like anything…wound healing is a process…this will probably go on for a few more weeks. 

I know things happen for a reason.  I know that things happen when you need them too.  I know that I can’t let this slip by without recognizing the fact that I have been lucky…but luck runs out.  I know this happened because of my Type 1 Diabetes…my podiatrist confirmed it yesterday…after giving me massive kudos for my pain tolerance.  This is a lesson.  Whether I am in paradise, at the gym, at work, at a soccer game…no matter where I am and what I am doing…I can’t forget that I have Type 1 Diabetes.  It is not trivial.

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