So I have not updated about my word count during the past week. That is because last Sunday I had one of those moments where things just hit you...while at Panera surrounded by my NanoWrimo friends I realized something. For the first time in seven years the words were not flowing, the blank page was frustrating me. I always prided myself on being able to fill it no matter what. Something was different. Something had changed. Come to find out, it was me.
It was a very simple realization actually, but for me, those are always the most difficult things to grasp. The sun was shining outside of Panera and I kept looking out the window longingly. I realized that I don't need to do NanoWrimo this November. Instead of writing about life, I want to just live it. The past two and half months have been filled with tremendous transformations for me. I came back from camp in August knowing that I needed to change things. I needed to be a better me. So, that is what I have been doing. Focusing on being a responsible Type 1 Diabetic by eating normally and getting to gym. No tricks, no gimmicks. I have just been working my butt off and it feels really, really good.
I haven't written about all the changes I have been making, because I did not want to jinx things. The truth is, they don't seem like changes. I'm just living my life the way I always I knew that I could. I don't need food to feel better. I don't need a word count to make me feel better. I just need to be me. Joy.