A year ago...

On the heels of our return from a fun Christmas in Annapolis, our world took a turn. At the time, we didn't know how long the journey would be. We were hopeful. We were realistic. We were scared. We felt lost sometimes. We were tired. But we always had each other...

I spent much of yesterday thinking about this picture...it is from Christmas Eve last year as we were shopping around Annapolis. We had so much fun. We knew that it was essential to enjoy every moment the four of us (Grandma, Mom, Sister, and Me) had together. I don't know if we somehow intuited what the next few days (and ultimately months) would bring or if we just knew that at some point we would not be a foursome so we needed to live it up big. Sometimes you just have a feeling...and you never want to have regrets.

Three days later we hustled quickly to put the new bed set that we had given to Grandma for Christmas on her bed before she came upstairs for the evening. It was frantic really...we had to sneak it upstairs because we wanted to surprise her. As the end of the evening drew to night, she was ready to go upstairs. We had assumed our regular positions...one of us walked backwards ahead of her and one of us behind. She had a bit of trouble grabbing the stair rail with her right hand...which was weird. I suggested perhaps we stay downstairs, but Grandma was pleading with me. She wanted to go upstairs to her bedroom. "Please..."

So we proceeded upstairs, her determination was fueling the journey. She was struggling...but she had a goal...and she was not afraid of hard work. She got just in the doorway to peak in see her bed all dolled up and then we eased her to the floor. We knew what was happening. She knew what was happening. She was having another stroke...and it was very different than the ones before. I have two vivid memories from that night...the sound of her voice saying "Please" and the look on her face when we locked eyes as the EMTs helped her into a transport bed/chair thing. She knew it was bad too.

The time span between December 27, 2010 and March 18, 2011 would be filled with so many moments. The four of us were still figuring things out...together...until we were just three.

November is Over and Suddenly the Words Start Again... (Word Count = 62,692)

So it is a new month and magically the words have started to flow again...I'm working on the draft novel that I started writing back in July for CampNanoWrimo. I planned ahead this week...thinking that I would be able to clock some time at Panera on Thursday night...and here I am. The orange wall helping with the words...about 500 written tonight so far.

If I am totally honest, the majority of my word count for this November was some work that I did on this old story from July. It felt like cheating...so I sort of stopped myself from working on it. Every November I have always written a brand new story...and it felt wrong not to do that again. The cool thing is...after I did some merging an organizing I learned a couple of things about my current work in progress.

1) It is 155 pages (so far).
2) It is 62,692 words (so far). For those of you counting at home, that means that I have written 12,334 words since the end of July. About 9K of those were during November.
3) It is Fourteen Chapters (so far).
4) It is a cute, fun little story. My main character and boy hero are adorables...I had forgotten that.

And just like that...I am back in the novel writing game. Did you notice how I noted each of the markers (pages, words, and chapters) with a "so far"? That is hope...I'm gonna finish this one. So there it is...I am off and running again!!

November Numbers...

In the past, November has been all about counting words. Getting to 50,000 words or more in a shitty first draft of a novel was what the past six Novembers has been about. It did not matter how busy I was at work or what was going on in my life, I always managed to barf out a novel. This year has been different, but my goals are still wrapped around numbers...decreasing some and increasing others. In previous Novembers, I needed to write. Writing was fun, it made me happy. This year, it just didn't feel the same. The goals I wanted to hit by December 1 had nothing to do with word count...I wanted my blood sugars to be better, clock hours at the gym, and hit my first weight goal. As the month is winding down, just like in previous Novembers, the truth will be in the numbers. How many days did I get to the gym? What will my A1C number reveal? What will the scale read?

The Perfect Sunglasses...

I feel like I really, really, really need these sunglasses. Are they not the prettiest things you have ever seen? Well, at least in terms of sunglasses? Now that I am rocking the contacts...I can increase my sunglasses collection because I won't have to get prescription lenses for them...which is a royal pain. Too bad I already asked Santa for Black Bailey Bling Uggs. In thinking about it, these sunglasses would look really cute with them...super cute with them.

They are Victoria Beckham...so Posh...so Me!! I have been working hard the past three months...maybe these could be my reward? In the spirit of continuing to be healthy, getting to the gym, and having more fun...these sunglasses would totally help continue to foster all of these things. I can see myself in them already...