In the Counting Down...Three Years Ago Tonight...

Does each year get easier?  Maybe.  Does the level of missing diminish?  Not that I can tell...but I think that it is a good thing...it is all the love...it never stops.  In the first year of missing someone...you mark the day they left with every passing month. We did this with Grandpa (December 14, 2007) in our Year of Firsts in 2008.  We did this with Grandma too (March 18, 2011)...in our Year of Firsts in 2011/2012.  The span of time between December and March is always tough...I think because as much as you want to remember all of the time before...you hold the time during closer...the last months, weeks, days, and hours.  I was lucky to have that time with both...that doesn't always happen.  It is a sacred space...but you have to keep moving forward...no dwelling allowed.  That is not what my Grandma would want.  

Three years ago tonight, my Grandma was finally free to dance among the clouds.  She would want me to be smiling (check), wearing my hair down - because you look prettier that way (check), enjoying an alcoholic beverage (check), and being happy (check).    

That Other Thing I Do (Write...Right?)...

I have been thinking a lot about time...making better use of it...respecting it...trying not to waste it.  One of my friends called me out on something a few weeks ago...as I was talking about my training for the Indoor Tri...they said that it seemed like I was filling my time with yet another race instead of focusing on other things that I should be giving more attention too.  There may be a point to that...but there are worse things to fill my time with.  For example, working longer hours at work (been there and working to correct that) or consuming an enormous amount of carbs (been there and will not do that again).   As I get better at working only 8 hour days, I will have more time.  All of that time doesn't need to be soaked up on dates with Gym. 

So in the funny way life works, I ran into a work colleague today.  They also write.  They were pestering me about my writing.  They were insisting that I make time to do it everyday...even if just for 15 minutes...even if I am just editing.  I suddenly remembered...yes...writing...that other thing I do.  The thing I would love to do every day...day in and day out.  The thing I really wanted to do when I grew up...to be a writer/novelist.  One of my dreams.  Other than blogging...I am not doing anything to make it happen.  

This needs to change.  I know that if I work at it, I can do it.  I do have a track record for accomplishing my other dreams...

*  Get Driver's License on 16th Birthday

*  Get an A on my High School English Term Paper

*  Get a Government Job (to pay for school and to have health insurance)

*  Have a Job Keeping Important Papers Organized (I was a weird kid...what can I say?)

*  Volunteer at Camp Fantastic (and a few years later...to get dinner time Med Line to run efficiently)

*  Finish a Marathon      

Why should being a novelist be any different?  There are (of course) other dreams on my list.  Your life should always be filled with them, right?  Otherwise...what is the point?  

Week 13 - The Road to 13.1

And before you know it...there are just days between you and your second fitness goal of the year.  Days!!  The week of lucky 13 is behind me...all in all it was good week of training.  The only complication was a bit of a blood sugar dip when I did my 5 miles on Saturday.  Pretty good...that is the first time that has happened...after 13 weeks.  When I look at my crumpled training plan that lives in my gym bag...I can't believe I am in the final stretch.  I am running and walking.  I have been for the past five weeks.  To think, just before that I didn't think I could finish the 13 miles within four hours.  I was ready to give up.  Now, I know I can make that window.  I believe I can make that window.   I will make that window.  The only thing that can hold me back is me...and I am so not going to let that happen.  Sunday, June 2 at 8:00am...the Road to 13.1 really begins.