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Saturday, May 22, 2010

For My Chassity...

I went shopping today with my Vera Girls...and it was perfect timing. I needed to escape my worries and have some good girly giggly fun. I'll post more later about our shopping adventure...but I just had to do a quick blurb about one of my new necklaces. It is a butterfly...I love butterflies. I love butterflies because I love Chassity Flint...XXXOOO. I think she would have really, really loved this. In times like this when I worry about work...I need to remember why I work so hard everyday. Chass is one of those reasons. I have too many reasons...but I love each and everyone of them.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

OGYST - Week 19 in Review

Overall it was a really good week...it started off with a really big boost. My fitness test revealed that I have made tremendous progress in my work at the gym. My trainer was thrilled. So that made me start to believe that I have actually made progress. My blood work and my fitness test measurements all showed improvements. OGYST is working!!!

Operation Getting Your Shit Together - Week #19

1) Exercise Five days a Week - Done...was at the gym for 3 lifting days and 2 cardio days. Was really happy to finally get back into the game. Love my new lifting routine.

2) Follow Weight Watchers Online and Log Points - Done. Had a few slip-ups but all in all it was a good week. I think I need to eat a bit more at lunch...that will help me to not be so hungry at dinner time. We will see how that goes. Low blood sugars during cardio workouts are still a big issue...so I need to incorporate a bit more of an afternoon snack on those days.

3) Leave Work no later than 5:30pm Most Days - Done. I worked later than 5:30pm only one day this week. And took Friday off...which was much needed.

4) I Control when I Look at the Blackberry - Done. I look when I think I need to look and I am generally spot on. It is scary. I really only had one day that I had trouble managing how stressed I was. Not bad.

Upcoming Week Expected Highlights - Get back on track in terms of keeping a blood sugar log. Increase cardio workouts a bit...try for three days in the week.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Sometimes I Can't...

There is always this thought lingering in the back of my mind that surfaces every now and then when things happen. Sometimes I can't. It becomes clear when only one thing happens...when my blood sugar goes amuck. Sometimes I can't. I like to make progress and I like to get work done. Sometimes I can't. I don't always remember it, but sometimes I can't.

When I was working with my sister last weekend to put together some bookshelves, I had to stop because my blood sugar went too low. I had to treat it...which means...eating 15 grams of carb and waiting 15 minutes to see if my blood sugar has returned to a normal level. During this 15 minutes, you just sort of have to stop and "be". But while you are trying to just "be"...your brain freaks out and worries about all the things you can't do while you wait. Things like - -

* Continue to Build Bookshelves
* Finish the last 15 minutes on the Elliptical Machine
* Send an email
* Make a phone call
* Continue getting ready for work
* Drive to the Birthday Party you are excited about going to do

Because your brain is already fuzzy from low blood sugar...things sort of manifest and you freak out that you have all these things to do. There is a point when you think...I am never going to get all these things done. I am a failure. I wish I didn't have to stop. Those are the only moments when I get angry. Those are the only moments when I feel like I am not normal. Those are the moments when I realize that sometimes I can't.

And then...time passes...blood sugars rise...and then...as if it were magic...I can do anything I put my mind to.


Sometimes physically you can't...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I think I have a Team...

For years and years I have read in diabetes book after diabetes book that you have to have a team. I always used to roll my eyes…knowing that the only one who can make it happen is you. You doing the work. You watching what you eat. You taking the right amount of insulin at the right time. You exercising. You taking responsibility for your actions. You dealing with the consequences. You getting blood work done. The list goes on and on…it is your thing to manage.

I have been thinking a lot about my latest diavista journey. The fact that I have data to show positive results. This is a first…in almost 23 years of managing my T1 diabetes. I have been contemplating what is different…what has made this particular journey different. It boils down to one thing really…I have a team.

Earlier this year I did have an epiphany of sorts, I realized that I could not keep doing things the way I had been. I needed to do something different. Without even realizing it, I was forming a team. In some cases, members of the team had always been there my friend N, my sister, and my mom. Some were added more recently like my endocrinologist Dr. C. Others were just on the horizon like Weight Watchers online (I don't know if a website can be a member of a team...but let's just go with it for now) and my trainer S.

What I finally realized is that there is no one individual piece of this grouping that is making things different this time around. It is all of them together. That is what is different…I have a team!!!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

OGYST - Week 18 in Review

So in the spirit of getting back in the game, I'm finally doing an update. After three weeks (which I know is a long pause), I feel like OGYST is back in full swing. My revised set of goals really helped to jump start things this week. Let's do a quick review...

Operation Getting Your Shit Together - Week #18


1) Exercise Five days a Week - Done...when I wasn't able to get to the gym...I had a nice long walk outside. Lots of cardio this week.

2) Follow Weight Watchers Online and Log Points - Done. Didn't use all of my allowance points which always makes me happy. I try to save them for low blood sugars...and perhaps a fun beverage. I had my heart set on a margarita but ended up with a mojito instead...yummy...and it was 4 as opposed to 5 points. Good Times!! I'm glad the margarita machine at Joe's Crab Shack was broken. ;)

3) Leave Work no later than 5:30pm Most Days - Done. I worked later than 5:30pm only two days this week...but the good news is that it didn't stop me from hitting the gym anyway.

4) I Control when I Look at the Blackberry - Done. In terms of managing work stress, the fact that I was eating better and exercising definitely helped. I have been worried about lots of things, but decided the best way to deal with it is to focus on my health.

5) Other - Had an appointment with my endocrinologist about my latest set of blood work and she was elated at the progress I have made. She went to great pains to compliment me on how the great results in my numbers were due to all work I had done. Reminding me that I had done it myself. And I have to admit it it felt really, really good. Had a fun time out with friends last night...it makes me really thankful for the great support system I have. I think that is what is making this whole endeavor work.

Upcoming Week Expected Highlights - Meeting my trainer early on Sunday Morning for a fitness test and another run through my latest weight lifting program. Getting back on track in terms of keeping my blood sugar logs.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Another addiction...but I restrain...most of the time...

Brighton...much like Vera Bradley...is kind of addicting. The catalogs come and I am pretty good at tossing them away. But one just came and well...I have to have this ring. I just really, really need it. Maybe when I break into a new weight bracket. It is all about the motivation and reward. I'm feeling back in the game for sure...

And in other news...I may have a novel idea for NanoWrimo 10...oh wait...I guess I should finish the one from 09 first. ;)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

OGYST - Get Some Go Again...

To switch things up a bit, I have been contemplating a new set of focus points. I had set some in early 2010 to help in OGYST (Operation Getting Your Shit Together) and after the past few weeks of utter stagnation...I decided to refocus. So here is my list...with only one repeat...because...well as you may have figured out...in my priority list...work always rises to the top. Hence #4 below. ;) Well and #3 too...but that one is new.

1) Exercise at least five days a week

2) Follow Weight Watchers Online and Log Points

3) Leave Work no later than 5:30pm on most days of the work week

4) I Control when I Look at the Blackberry

So we will see how things go. I'm back in the game folks...prepare to astounded by my diavista awesomeness. ;)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Road Back...

It is proving to be much harder than I thought to get back on track...I know the culprit...and I have been eating around it. The stress of uncertainity is getting the best of me at the moment...but I think I may go walk it out for a bit. Blaring music and a cool spring morning is probably just what I need to get centered. I need to be better about having healthy ways to deal with all the things I am worried about. In terms of OGYST...I feel a bit like a failure...but part of it is because I think I need to switch up my plans and set some new goals.

The good news is that my blood work revealed some huge improvements in terms of my numbers...especially my A1C...which gives a numerical indication of your average blood sugar over a three month time span. I think I am feeling confident enough to merge some T1 diabetes related goals into the mix. So...I think I'm going to take a nice long walk, blare some music, and think about what my next set of four goals will be.